As I
read this week about the working class families and the struggles they face I
couldn't help but think back on many of the decisions I have made myself. Working
by both parents, several menial jobs each, was never an even considered
anything but survival. We were grateful for any opportunity to make even a
little more money, knowing it made life easier for the rest of the family. Most
of the budget went to food, the rest to other things kids need then to stay
afloat with basic bills (not phone,
cable, etc.), those were luxuries we, and most young people starting out
did not have. Child care was, and still is expensive. Often all of my check
went to the provider and wondered when, how and if I would ever start getting
ahead of the bills. I could relate to the generational shift reference as I too
thought I was responsible for raising the kids and housework and many other
things. If I complained it would have looked bad for me, being a crabby wife
and mother was not acceptable. Supermom and nothing less was the only goal I
had. My children are grown and life is different with two adults, no children.
The division of labor is still not equal but much better. Data indicates that
this is true across the country. One economic study looked at the numbers here
and in other countries and found that in many countries women still do
housework twice as much as men, or more. Men spend more time at work and in
sports than women (No surprise there either).
This link to the study , (http://www.cityam.com/blog/1394026370/want-find-man-who-does-housework-head-slovenia
) , which interestingly enough points out the chores are more equal in Sweden
and better yet in Slovenia where the man does all the housework!
Division
of labor is one of the big issues couples should discuss from the beginning to
be sure they are on the same page and have a plan or could be a big marital
problem when ideas don’t exactly mesh. What works best for one may not for
another but for marriages to be successful there needs to be common
understandings and considerations for each other. The partner with the most
presumed pressure may just break under the strain. This clip with a fun twist is a summary of a
study that does show while there is still improvement, women do most of what
they call the 3 C’s, Chores, Children, Cleaning. It also lists some symptoms of
a problem in the relationship do to this division of labor.
