As I
read this week about the working class families and the struggles they face I
couldn't help but think back on many of the decisions I have made myself. Working
by both parents, several menial jobs each, was never an even considered
anything but survival. We were grateful for any opportunity to make even a
little more money, knowing it made life easier for the rest of the family. Most
of the budget went to food, the rest to other things kids need then to stay
afloat with basic bills (not phone,
cable, etc.), those were luxuries we, and most young people starting out
did not have. Child care was, and still is expensive. Often all of my check
went to the provider and wondered when, how and if I would ever start getting
ahead of the bills. I could relate to the generational shift reference as I too
thought I was responsible for raising the kids and housework and many other
things. If I complained it would have looked bad for me, being a crabby wife
and mother was not acceptable. Supermom and nothing less was the only goal I
had. My children are grown and life is different with two adults, no children.
The division of labor is still not equal but much better. Data indicates that
this is true across the country. One economic study looked at the numbers here
and in other countries and found that in many countries women still do
housework twice as much as men, or more. Men spend more time at work and in
sports than women (No surprise there either).
This link to the study , (http://www.cityam.com/blog/1394026370/want-find-man-who-does-housework-head-slovenia
) , which interestingly enough points out the chores are more equal in Sweden
and better yet in Slovenia where the man does all the housework!
Division
of labor is one of the big issues couples should discuss from the beginning to
be sure they are on the same page and have a plan or could be a big marital
problem when ideas don’t exactly mesh. What works best for one may not for
another but for marriages to be successful there needs to be common
understandings and considerations for each other. The partner with the most
presumed pressure may just break under the strain. This clip with a fun twist is a summary of a
study that does show while there is still improvement, women do most of what
they call the 3 C’s, Chores, Children, Cleaning. It also lists some symptoms of
a problem in the relationship do to this division of labor.
I find your perspective on this concept to be especially intriguing due to the fact that you have seen it as a child, a mother, and now as a wife with no kids in the house. I agree that the division of labor is incredibly important in any relationship, so that one partner is not stuck working and doing the majority of the household chores alone. I was raised solely by my mother though, so there was no such thing as men's and women's work in our house. I am curious as to what the statistics are like in the United States as far as what the likelihood of participation around the home is for men raised by single mothers?
ReplyDeleteIt was interesting to see your take on the matter of marital duties and the distribution of household chores. You've experienced all aspects and have seen how they have changed over time in your home. When I was reading this I was thinking about my parents and how it's changed in my house since us kids have grown older and moved out. I actually found in to be the reverse with my family. When I was younger my mom was always busy with the kids and our activities that most of the housework feel on my dad. Now that my mom isn't as busy she does more around the house and actually has time to take on little projects around our home.
ReplyDeleteI watched the youtube video at the end of your post and read some of the comments on it, one person had the viewpoint that maybe the children aren't doing enough of the house work. I also came from a single mother family and my brother and I did the majority of the house work growing up. Because of that, I see it as extremely important for the man to take on an equal if not heavy work load in a relationship.I also wonder if in today's society families are creating more stress and house work by allowing massive amounts of technology. If the video games weren't sitting right there would family members naturally volunteer to take on work? I think so. Also I have seen couples make it a competition. Whichever spouse does less work at the end of the week than the other owes them a reward. Motivation to accomplish housework is created!
ReplyDelete