Thursday, February 27, 2014
Don't worry, he's with me...
I came from and continue to have what is a typical American family of mixed race culture and ethnic backgrounds. It's richness accounts for the fun, loving, close family we are. My son-in-law often spoke of how poorly he was often treated, how frightened people looked at him when he walked into a room and how suspiciously he was regarding in public places. I believed his experiences were his fault, to be his exaggerations or misunderstandings or even paranoia. I have known him now him for years now and found him to be a quiet, polite well liked man, but that's not how he's perceived. The first time I was a part of this type of prejudice was in a local, small restaurant, sitting in our booth waiting for our burgers. I first noticed him squirming and his face twisted uncomfortably.When I asked what was wrong he indicated the booth next to us, people I hadn't even noticed before this, who were indeed looking at us, and the words you could catch were racial slurs. The glances and smirks were unmistakable. What was this the 1950"s? I didn't believe this happened anymore, as I looked through my rose-colored glasses.The privilege I have usually experienced with my white skin had excluded me from what a person who is unmistakable not "white" must put up with. At the time I ushered my little dark-skinned grand-babies out of the restaurant to spare them what I hope will not be their future. Disgraced and disgusted I slunk out but thought about saying, "Don't worry, they're with me. I'll protect you fro their blackness." But being rude and buying into their type of thinking is not how we change this world for the next generation, fight back anger or better yet, use it for change and not against others.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I really enjoyed reading your posting! I completely agree with you, I can't believe that racial discrimination can be as bad as it was years ago. I feel as if our society has been so accepting and slowly changing with other things, why can't racism be one of those things that individuals can just accept already. No two individuals are alike so that is something racist individuals need to accept. They also need to realize that making comments and hurting another individual is not getting them anywhere in life. I couldn't agree with you any more on your discussion of changing the world for the next generation! I hope those changes happen sooner than later.
ReplyDeleteThis was a great example of the differences between privilege and oppression. After reading the class readings it made me more aware of how unjustly minorities are treated. After reading your blog, it home to me that people who we know are still being oppressed to this day. A question I thought of after reading this is: With the rise in multiracial marriages, are those couples considered oppressed or a mixture of both?
ReplyDeleteI can't believe that still happens. I don't know the environment of this situation, but it is hard to vicariously interpret the situation as a person who has had privilege his whole life. It is almost like we exist within the realities we perceive as truth. Those who are oppressed experience a whole different perspective than those who are privileged. Your narrative is a perfect example of how people can be blindsided by the actions of others if we have never experienced it personally. Great job!
ReplyDeleteThank You for sharing! Like everyone else I am shocked and ashamed that this still happens today. Oppression in our society is looked over so easily by individuals who do not experience it first hand. It doesn't seem to matter using either the old or new model of the Matrix of Domination.
ReplyDeleteIn situations like this happen it's sometimes hard to remember what decade we are actually living in! When we think about how far we've come as a nation and the strides that have been taken to get rid of racism, it's sad when you hear stories like this are still happening. Seeing that we still have individuals in society that can't accept differences among people is extremely sad. Thank you for sharing your story and reminding us we can only understand someones life after we've experienced it firsthand.
ReplyDeleteShirley, I appreciate how well you've articulated that original thought "don't worry, he's with me." Reading your blog reminded me of a bit I'd heard on NPR on growing up 'white' as a black child. You may be interested in listening to it.
ReplyDeleteIt may be a jump in logic, but what you've said also reminds me of some parallels of same-sex marriage, since we're seeing so many celebrities coming out. I read on the comments of an article about Ellen Page coming out and there were many people who said something to the effect of - "I don't care what your sexual orientation is, just shut up already, who cares?" I can understand wanting to tone-down how important social issues are like this, but for gays and blacks who are receiving the blunt of hatred and social inequalities, many of us are sitting in a booth with it happening right before our eyes but we don't see. There are many times I, just like you've described, have taken for granted my white privilege and I've thought, oh, it's no big deal. We can all just love one another and get along. But when my eyes have been open to some people's hatred, I realize that's not the case. Racism is real.
http://www.npr.org/2014/01/26/266434175/growing-up-white-transracial-adoptee-learned-to-be-black